Internet backs furious wife over $660 monthly payment to stepmom

The internet sided with a woman who was furious to learn that her mother-in-law had over £100,000 ($110,573) in savings while her husband gave her mother £600 ($663) per month.

In a post on Mumsnet, user Sunflowerseverywhere shared the story which received hundreds of responses.

She explained: “When I met my husband he told me he was sending his mum £600 a month to help her survive financially. She is a widow with – at this time – a small child, doesn’t work and struggles to make ends meet. His lifestyle reflects that description. I said that was fine with me.”

But many years later, the husband and wife are a family of four, and her husband still sends the monthly money to his mother.

What she discovered next left her speechless.

“Today I found out my mother-in-law has over £100,000 in savings. I was shocked,” the poster wrote.

“I reacted badly to this news,” she said: “I felt like a joke. I told him that I felt absolutely disrespected and that I had been lied to. The amount we give her doesn’t dramatically change our way of life, but, just to give an example, I would love to hire a housekeeper since we have kids, but we can’t afford it.”

She said her husband did not understand her reaction. “[He] told me he was saddened and disappointed by my “greedy” reaction”.

The woman took to the internet for advice, asking Mumsnet: “Am I unreasonable to feel absolutely furious?”

Catherine Morgan, multi-award winning financial adviser, certified financial coach, specialist in financial abuse and founder of advice site themoneypanel.co.uk, said Newsweek“Every family has disagreements with money. That’s because each of us has our own relationship with money, based on what we were taught and experienced growing up.

“Often people in relationships have a deep sense of money shame. This manifests as the secrecy of money, the silence of money, and the judgment of money. Money shame is “often what keeps couples from talking openly about money. These shames can be rooted in traumatic experiences from the past, often related to parents or caregivers,” Morgan explained.

Responses on the viral post overwhelmingly sided with the woman, telling her they understood why she was upset.

“I would be absolutely furious too. £600 is a lot and it could make such a difference in family life, meanwhile your mother-in-law is hoarding it,” said one Mumsnet user, while a another wrote, “I would divorce my husband under these circumstances.”

“If she was really struggling and you could afford it, that’s fine. But you shouldn’t have to suffer if she has that much money in the bank,” another response read. “I would suggest you split it up – you get a housekeeper, and she gets a smaller amount each month.”

At the heart of these issues, however, Morgan, who also hosts the podcast In his financial shoessaid it was important for everyone to have open and healthy conversations about money.

“Appreciate that you each have your own individual relationship with money and no one is right or wrong,” she said. “Our decisions are instead based on what we perceive to be true based on what makes us feel safe. For some people it’s about having a bigger safety net or planning ahead more than being impulsive with money.”

Newsweek was unable to verify the details of the case.